🍎 Apple is about to throw $100 billion at OpenAI. Recently, the Apple crew teamed up with them to pump up Apple Intelligence – even though they have their own language model for basic stuff, it’s just not as good. Surprised? Well, Apple rarely invests in startups… if you can call a $100 billion company a “startup.” Oh, and NVidia is jumping on the bandwagon, too, planning to back one of its biggest clients!

🇧🇷 Musk’s platform X just got nearly wiped out in Brazil. Judge Moraes straight-up cut off 40 million users. Musk called him “a criminal of the worst kind posing as a judge” and also “Dictator Voldemort” for good measure. And why not? To top it off, the judge froze Starlink’s accounts – absolute madness. It all started when the court ordered the blocking of dozens of accounts on the platform, and at first, Musk was like “okay,” but then turned around and called it censorship. The blocked accounts belonged to supporters of former President Jair Bolsonaro, who were stirring up riots over the “stolen election.” This whole thing is nuts. I never thought something like this could happen in a civilized country! What a bunch of savages! Wait… hold on…

🏒 A sad story out of the NHL: a drunk driver hit and killed some guys on bikes. Turns out they were hockey stars with salaries close to $10 million a year. Moral of the story? No matter how high you climb, be careful. One minute you’re scoring goals to the crowd’s roar for crazy money, the next, you’re under the wheels. One moment you’re dining with the President of France, and the next, you’re locked up behind bars.

🖋 Yelp (yeah, the biggest restaurant review site) is suing Google. The beef? Google’s showing its own reviews in search results instead of Yelp’s. I mean, what else are they gonna show? Wait, you can actually do that? Alright then, let’s go ahead and sue Yandex while we’re at it. For everything.

🎙 Oasis is reuniting for… you guessed it, a reunion tour across the UK next summer. The Gallagher brothers blew through their massive paychecks, and now they need some cash. Just a little – like £400 million for 17 shows in five cities. Analysts are saying that’s more than they made during their entire wild run in the ’90s. Taylor Swift was pulling in $13.5 million per show on her last tour. And there are only 2 songs from that era that hit over 2 billion streams on Spotify: you know which Nirvana song, and Oasis’ “Wonderwall.” Can’t stand that whining. Worse than Mummy Troll, seriously.